When I Grow Up, I Wanna Be...
I am not anywhere near where I thought I was going to be at 30.When I was young and foolish, I planned on being married to my Prince Charming by age 25. At 30, I would have just had my twin princes-in-waiting, giving me 3 charming boys in total and already planning on a 4th child: a princess this time. Professionally, I wanted to be a corporate lawyer (I don't even know what they do!?!) pulling in a mid-6 figure salary. And of course, I was going to own a while convertible Porsche 911 carriage and a brand new castle in the 'burbs.
Fairy Tale, indeed!!
Instead, I am a single contract worker with no car and a 6-year-old-misbehavin' dog and 100-year-old house. How did I get here?
It's funny how the littlest things will end up shaping your entire future. I never imagined I'd be working where I am in my wildest fantasies! I love it. I love what I do and the product we produce and love the entire process it takes to complete the product; but I never thought I'd be so lucky as to actually get to be a part of it and get paid well to boot! I was brought up in one of those families where the parents tried to force their children to do well academically in order to obtain a vocation in a "real" profession. We were to be doctors or lawyers or engineers or accountants. We were allowed to dabble in the Arts, but never were we supposed to make a career out of it! My grade 3 teacher encouraged my mother, at the annual parent-teacher conference, to let me audition for the district's School for the Arts. My mother responded with a solid, resounding NO! They didn't concentrate enough on the academic subjects. "MAWWWWM! That's why it's a School for the Arts! Duh!" The only exception to that rule were those gifted few that were forced to take up an instrument at age 3 and would become child concert prodigies. I was not one of those few.
I did pretty well in high school without really trying. In university, I majored in Political Science, as close as you can get to "pre-law" in Canada, and again got decent marks considering I hardley ever showed up. But, as I've said before, I burned out, dropped out and then my brother got me this summer job that blossomed into a full-time "profession." My parents, although dismayed, didn't yell at me as much as I thought they would when I decided not to go back to school. I think they thought it was a phase and I'd eventually go back. Or maybe my older siblings had already broken them in by becoming professional disappointments themselves. Whatever the case, they are fine with the decision now. Mainly because they know I'm making a fairly decent chunk of money, and being responsible with it (a.k.a. buying property on my own at the age of 27). They can't brag, "My daughter's a lawyer!" But they can say, "My daughter's entirely financially self-sufficient," and seem content in that knowledge. Actually, they are getting desperate for me to get married (preachin' to the choir!), but that's another post...Stratch that! I don't even want to think about that....
I don't really have a destination of thought here. It just struck me this morning (the things one thinks about in the shower!) that I am not living the life I ever imagined. It doesn't make me sad. It doesn't make me happy. It just is.
Retrospective Lowbrow
posted by highbrow @ 10:19 AM
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