Different Heights of Brows

Honey, Not Tonight...I'm Too Tired...

Whenever someone I have newly befriended invites me out I find myself panicked and immediately trying to come up with some kind of excuse not to accept. It's not that I don't want to become closer to the person in question, or that I don't enjoy sometimes getting out and having a good time, but I have a strong natural instinct to be anti-social.

Case in point, I was invited to my co-worker's housewarming party. When she first told me about it and sent the evite, I was genuinely excited to go. I am friends with her live-in boyfriend, and now consider her a friend as well even though we only began working together a couple of months ago. I was aware that many of my past and present co-workers would be attending, so I knew that I wouldn't be standing alone in a corner of the room, nursing a drink, pretending to be waiting for someone. (Don't laugh! That's been known to happen!) I'm not a "smalltalker" so usually I don't go to parties where I know I will not know anyone besides the host. I avoid them at all costs! But I digress (as usual)....

When the day came, however, I spent the early-afternoon with a close friend that I had not seen in a while, catching up and having a belated birthday celebration over brunch. Afterwards, I could have easily popped by the party. It was one of those all-day open house types, and I had even arranged to meet another co-worker there in the early evening. Perfect timing! BUUUT, I had already decided I did not feel like socializing. I did not feel like drinking and pretending to be interested in what others had to say just for the sake of showing my face. And I find when I do force myself to go, I end up looking at my watch as soon as I get there and figure out how soon I can leave without being rude. Gil - short of sickness, I always attend your parties - even if I have these negative thoughts - b/c I luff you! So don't hate me for what I cannot control!!! Truth be told, sometimes I don't even want to go to parties hosted by my girlz! I'm simply anti-social. I wasn't like this when I was younger. It something that stuck from my "black period." I did this 180 in university. I went from a "Ontario Scholar" to a university drop-out; and I was a high school student council president that became borderline misanthropic! (Like my hero "House"!!)

So instead of keeping my commitment, I drove waaaay uptown (heh heh) to my girlfriend's place and looked at the photos from NYC, and I don't regret that choice for a second! We were crying so hard from the laughter that we had to look through the photos for a second time because we didn't see them all during the first attempt! Nonetheless, I feel a little bad for not keeping my word. Especially when the co-worker I had arranged to meet said, "I was waiting. Where were you?" this morning....

I felt two inches Low
brow

posted by highbrow @ 4:59 PM